Endless Love
by MidnightSky101
Summary: Merlin, you’re my servant, serve me...It’s like you have some power over me, and it makes me want to hit you, hurt you, break you, scream at you...tell me you’re not really Arthur.' Merlin/Arthur! Rape!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Don't like it, don't like it...Happy snow day! Yay! I've been busy notdoing coursework! Yay! I mean...oops...Anyway, I don't like this, please someone, ANYONE tell me how to fix it!**

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It had started two months ago. Arthur had stormed into his room, slamming the door and leaning against it. Merlin had come round the corner to se what happened and Arthur had thrown himself at him, kissing him hard, surprising Merlin so he let out a small squeak. "Arthur." His protest was cut short as Arthur kissed him again, tugging at his jacket. Merlin pulled free again, "no-"

"Merlin, you're my servant, _serve _me." Arthur hissed, grinding his hips against Merlin's. "And don't worry, it means nothing." That may have been what was said, but Merlin didn't hear that, instead '_You _mean nothing' echoed in his head. Arthur pulled him away from the wall and dragged him across the room, pushing him onto the bed.

Arthur toed off his boots and climbed onto the bed, flipping a protesting Merlin onto his stomach and pulling down his breeches. "Arthur, please don't." Merlin begged, tears forming as he was shifted so he was leaning on his knees and elbows. Arthur reached into a draw by his bedside and pulled out some oil.

"Don't be such a _girl, _Merlin." Arthur mocked as he slicked up his fingers and shoved two into Merlin's unwilling tightness making Merlin cry out in pain and drop his head onto the pillows, whimpering slightly. "Oh, for God's sake, Merlin, take it like a man!" Arthur growled as he shoved a third finger in, thrusting them harshly.

"Arthur, stop." Merlin begged, trying to move away from Arthur's fingers.

"No, you stop!" Arthur reached a hand round Merlin and pulled him back onto Arthur's fingers.

"Ah! No, Arthur-"

"Shut _up_, Merlin!" Arthur began to stroke Merlin's flaccid member in an attempt to distract him from the pain. When Arthur stopped, Merlin was half hard and still whimpering. Arthur decided that Merlin was prepared enough, which Merlin completely disagreed with, and pulled his fingers out, much to Merlin's relief.

"Is that it?" Merlin asked hopefully.

"No, I just prepared you so it doesn't hurt you too much, and there's less chance of you bleeding in my bed." Arthur said as he slicked up his erection.

"So what doesn't hu-AH!" Merlin screamed loudly as Arthur pushed into him in one movement. "Arthur! No, stop!" Merlin began thrashing and screaming. "Stop it! Stop it! STOP!" He cried.

"Merlin!" Arthur caught his wrist and held him down, putting his weight onto Merlin's back. "Stop, it is your job to serve me, so shut up and think of Will and it'll be over soon." Arthur said, Merlin sobbed again.

"Who _are_ you?" Merlin asked in a whisper. Arthur didn't hear, he was too busy thrusting into Merlin's tight, virgin hole. Merlin closed his eyes and tried to stop the pain with magic. It didn't work. He was completely flaccid and felt nothing but pain until Arthur came groaning, "Guinevere," when he felt sticky and disgusting.

Arthur collapsed onto his back and lay, panting, for a few minutes, then pulled out, making Merlin shudder, and fastened his breeches again. "Get up, Merlin, sort yourself out." Arthur ordered, throwing a rag at him. Merlin knelt and wiped his face, wiping away tears and mucus, before wiping away the semen dripping down his thighs. "Hurry up!" Arthur pressed. Merlin pulled his breeches up and stood, straightening out the sheets, purposely avoiding eye contact with Arthur.

"Whenever I say that you are to return after I have dismissed you for the evening, go back to your room, eat, wash, and prepare yourself." Merlin turned to Arthur and cocked his head in confusion. "You know," Arthur began, walking to Merlin who suddenly looked uncomfortable. "When I oiled up my fingers," he held one of Merlin's wrists while the other hand trailed down Merlin's body to his arse. "and put them he-"

"Stop!" Merlin cried as Arthur pressed his fingers to Merlin's covered entrance.

"Why, Merlin? Don't you like it? Is it not what you want? Not Will?" Arthur asked, his tone mocking, gripping one of Merlin's cheeks. "If you don't want to do this, then quit, just walk out of here and I'll find someone else, maybe a young lad, they've got lots of energy, very _will_ing." Merlin reacted without thinking, slapping Arthur hard.

"Shut up! Just shut up, Arthur!" Merlin shouted, pushing Arthur away.

"What's wrong, Merlin? Don't want to fight? Afraid? Will can't use his magic here, can he? Can't use it anywhere, he died saving _me!_ I won! I own you!" Arthur laughed, Merlin began moving towards the door.

"Stop it, Arthur." Arthur moved quickly, pinning Merlin to the cupboard with his body. "Please," Merlin said, looking into Arthur's eyes, "tell me you're not really Arthur." Arthur clapped him hard on the ear.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Arthur asked, frowning.

"What did you're father say to you?" Merlin asked.

"That's none of your damn business!" Arthur shouted, hitting Merlin again.

"Get away from me!" Merlin shouted, closing his eyes tight. He felt the weight leave him and when he opened his eyes again, Arthur was across the room, sprawled on the floor.

"How did you do that?" He asked seriously.

"I..I…"

"You used magic!" Arthur accused.

"No! It wasn't-"

"You did!" Arthur shouted, Merlin said nothing, just ran from the room, expecting Arthur to shout to the guards to stop him, but he didn't.

He ran all the way to Gaius' chambers and locked the door behind him, leaning against it then sliding down it, body shaking with silent sobs. "Merlin?" Merlin didn't look up at Gaius' voice. "Merlin, what's wrong?" Gaius asked again, panic clear in his voice.

Merlin looked up and faked a smile. "Nothing," he lied, "just tired." He stood and began walking to his room, only now realising how much that hurt.

"Merlin, what happened to you?" Gaius asked.

"Nothing! I'm fine, Gaius, just leave it." He said, then turned and continued to his room, closing the door and collapsing on his bed in tears, hugging his knees.

After a while, Gaius came in and just stood, looking at Merlin. "Merlin, what happened?" He asked softly.

"I don't know, Gaius. I really don't, but it hurts." Merlin sobbed. Gaius moved forward and rested a hand on Merlin's shoulder.

"What hurts?" Merlin shook his head and turned his head so his face was buried in the pillow. "Merlin, please." Gaius sat down next to Merlin and Merlin threw himself at him, crying onto his shoulder.

"He hurt me." Merlin muttered between sobs.

"What? Who? How?" Gaius asked suddenly.

Merlin didn't answer. "I'm…I'm going to have a bath, that okay?" He asked.

Gaius hesitated before saying. "Yes, that's fine."

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**A/N: Now a chaptered fic...because To-chan said to and she scares me sometimes...  
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	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, okay, this is the second chapter. Obviously. Anyway, yes, things are slightly clearer in this one, but when it gets to the last one you'll go: 'Oh...but why?' But don't really do that because I don't know...I should get a beta...anyway, enjoy!

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**Chapter 2**

When Merlin woke the following day, he lay in bed thinking of all the reasons he should leave Camelot, go back to Ealdor. But even though he knew he should, that the reasons were good enough to leave, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Maybe he should quit? But how was he supposed to protect Arthur if he wasn't near him?

And really, he didn't want to leave, as much as he hated him, he loved Arthur. He had tried to deny it, but he found himself caring more and more about what he thinks, and his eyes would drift to watch him, the way he moved, his _body_, though he would quickly look away if he caught Arthur's eye.

But now, could he face him? After what he did? Merlin thought for a while, then decided he could, he would continue to work for Arthur, and he would tell him that after he dismisses him for the night, he will not return until the next morning. And that is that.

"Yes you will," Arthur said when Merlin said this while Arthur was eating breakfast.

"No, I won't, there's nothing you can do-"

"Merlin, do you remember that trick? The one where you threw me across the room?" Merlin froze, eyes wide,_ that's why he didn't call the guards_. "I was thinking that maybe my father would like to hear about it-"

"No!" Merlin shouted. Arthur raised his eyebrows so Merlin lowered his voice. "No, please don't." He practically begged.

"You're left with three options, Merlin." Arthur stood and walked to Merlin, "one, you quit, leave Camelot. Two, you use your 'magic' to get out of the situation, which will probably end up with you being found out. And three, you act like a good servant and do everything I tell you to do and serve me to the best of your ability." He paused, standing right in front of Merlin. "What's your choice?" He asked.

Merlin looked down, ashamed of his answer. "Is there anything I can get you, Sire?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"There's a good boy."

-

Later that night, Merlin was on his knees between Arthur's legs, eyes closed tightly as he took in Arthur's length, gagging as it hit the back of his throat. He tried to pull back but Arthur grabbed his head, holding him in place. He made noises of protest that sent vibrations down Arthur's shaft making him moan and pull Merlin forward.

Merlin put his hands on Arthur's knees, trying desperately to push away from him. "Merlin!" Arthur hissed. Merlin stopped fighting, his hands still on Arthur's knees. Merlin tried his hardest not to gag as Arthur began thrusting into his mouth, he really did, but he couldn't stop himself.

Arthur growled and pushed Merlin off him. "Get up here." Arthur said, moving back on the bed. Merlin closed his eyes, waiting. Nothing happened. He slowly stood and crawled onto the bed. Arthur pulled Merlin's breeches down as he passed him.

He waited in the middle of the bed on all fours, gasped when a finger was pushed into his arse, but otherwise remained silent. "So you do listen." Arthur commented, removing his finger and positioning himself at Merlin's entrance. He laid a hand on Merlin's shoulder and Merlin tried his best to relax as Arthur thrust in hard.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity to Merlin, Arthur came groaning Guinevere's name. He pulled out, cleaned himself up and threw the rag to Merlin. Merlin quickly cleaned himself and dressed, then stood, waiting for Arthur to say something. Arthur was stood, leaning on his cupboard, facing away from Merlin. Merlin cleared his throat and Arthur looked over his shoulder.

"What are you still doing here? Get out!" He ordered. Merlin did, quickly and hurried back to Gaius' chambers.

Arthur listened to the door close and waited, just to be sure Merlin was gone, then moved to his bed, sitting on the edge. He reached forward and picked up the rag. There was nothing but him. He threw it across the room with a growl and collapsed onto the sheets, crying into the thick material.

Eventually, he pulled back the covers and lay down to sleep, his body still shaking slightly with sobs. "Merlin." He whispered. "Merlin, I'm sorry." The tears kept falling, his body kept shaking, his heart kept bleeding. Merlin would never, _could_ never forgive Arthur for what he'd done to him, but he had to do it. He had to do this. Merlin had to hate him.

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_**PLEASE READ THIS, OH WONDERFUL PEOPLE!**_

**A/N: Okay, for the final chapter, I have changed the ending completely, but I can add a little bit on the end which will change EVERYTHING. Seriously, just a few paragraphs at most and BAM! Anyway, I need your help, I need you to tell me whether you want Merlin to not be with Arthur, or if you want there to be a chance (actually quite a high chance if I do this) that they will get together. And I don't just want you to say 'Oh my God, yes! Merlin/Arthur is the best pairing ever! Do it!' Becuase I know it is, okay, it's just DUH! Ayway, I want you to really thnk about everything thst's happened, even though the end will change that a lot...I'm not explaining this very well, am I?** **Anyway, just leave a review saying yes they should or no they shouldn't, that's really all it has to be if you don't have much time, because I kind of know which I'd prefer...but I still need you to say. Thank you!**

**D.x  
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	3. Sad Ending

**A/N: Oh my God, fanfiction won't upload my files!!! Oh my God, oh my God! *Cries* Okay, over it, I found an alternate way...clearly because you're reading this.

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It was a usual occurrence for Merlin now. Prepare himself, dress, go to Arthur's chambers, lock the door, pull down his breeches, occasionally suck, be fucked, get dressed, leave. Life would carry on.

But this time, Arthur didn't give him time to undress, as soon as Merlin locked the door, he had been pinned to it and Arthur had kissed him harshly. Merlin gasped and threw his hands against the door to steady himself.

All Arthur said when he pulled back was, "bed." Merlin obediently slipped out of Arthur grasp and scuttled towards the bed, but just before he reached it, Arthur grabbed him again and pulled him into another kiss, running his hands through Merlin's hair, gripping his neck, pulling him closer. And just as Merlin was wrapping his arms around Arthur, he was pushed back onto the bed.

Nothing was said for a while, Arthur was panting heavily, glaring down at Merlin with a murderous look. Merlin was truly afraid.

"What have you done?" Arthur said through gritted teeth. Merlin tried to say something, he moved his lips, but no sound came out. "What have you done to me?" Arthur shouted. "Tell me! Because the things I feel, it's not me! It's like you're controlling me, like you have some power over me, and it makes me want to _hit_ you, _hurt_ you, _break _you, _scream_ at you!"

"No!" Merlin shouted turning his head and raising his arm in defence as Arthur leant over him suddenly, knees just on the bed and a hand by Merlin's head to hold himself up.

"The things you make me feel…" he reached up and pulled Merlin's shaking arm down slowly so he could look at him. "You…Something about you, I don't know what it is, but it makes me want to protect you and hold you when you're sad. I want to fall asleep talking to you and wake up with you in my arms, watch you sleep and dream. I want to give you everything, this kingdom, the stars, my soul. I want to be you're everything.

"I want to hide you away from the world so nobody else could ever look at you, I want to parade you around and show you to the world. I want to kiss you, and hug you, live for you, die for you. Merlin, "his voice softened, barely audible," I think I love you," tears started forming in Arthur's eyes as he spoke. "And it hurts. My God, it hurts, Merlin."

"Don't you talk to me about hurt!" Merlin shouted, pushed Arthur off him and sat up. "You…you raped me, again and again, why would you do that if you love me? How could you do that to me?" He asked, tears streaming.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Arthur stroked Merlin's cheek gently and kissed his forehead. "I was trying to convince myself that it didn't matter, _you_ didn't matter, that I didn't…it was just lust, nothing more, but I was wrong. And you, the way you looked at me, I knew…I didn't…you couldn't look at me like that, look at me with disgust, hatred, anger anything…but not love. Because we can never…Not you and me, and that look…when you looked at me, and thought I didn't notice, I wanted to grab you and kiss you forever. I'm sorry, Merlin, so sorry…I did everything wrong."

Arthur stroked Merlin's hair lovingly, but he kept looking at him with _those _eyes. With fear, confusion and disgust. He looked like he would say something but looked away. Arthur gripped his jaw roughly and forced him to look at him. "Merlin, I love you. I love you so much. And I need to know, do you love me?" Merlin didn't answer, just stared. "Do you?" Arthur asked desperately.

"Yes." Merlin whispered. Arthur laughed breathily, moving his hand to stroke the back of Merlin's neck.

"So, do you think we could…try this? You and me, I mean. Just put everything else in the past and forget it?" Arthur asked, hope rising in him.

Merlin pursed his lips and looked away, desperate to stop the tears. Finally, he took a shaky breath and turned back to Arthur. "No," he whispered.

"Wh…What?" More tears formed in Arthur's eyes.

"No." Merlin said strongly. He pushed Arthur odd him and stood, heading to the door. Arthur sat in shock, watching him leave. Finally, his brain caught up and he chased after Merlin, catching his wrist.

"Merlin, please…" Merlin looked at the hand on his wrist, then up to the eyes of its owner. "Merlin, you're amazing, wonderful, beautiful, magical…" he pulled Merlin into his arms, a loving hold, not possessive.. "Someone like you deserves to be treated like royalty, I can do that. I can…please, Merlin."

Merlin wanted so much to hold Arthur, lay a hand on his cheek, kiss him, do _something_. But he couldn't, he wouldn't let himself. "I know, Arthur. You're a prince." Arthur smiled and put a hand on the back on Merlin's head. Merlin laid a hand on top of it, moved it away and pushed Arthur away gently.

"But you're not mine." He turned quickly and left before Arthur could see the tears, proof of the pain Merlin felt at his own words.

Once out of the Prince's chambers, Merlin closed the door and rested his forehead on it. He stood like that for a long time, _knowing_ Arthur wouldn't follow him. Finally, he wiped away the tears and left.

He walked quickly through the hallways, breaking into a run when people started glancing towards him, convincing himself that they all know. He almost tripped as he crashed through the physician's door.

"Merlin?" Gaius called.

"Tired, going to bed, night." Merlin ran to his room, slamming the door shut behind him and leaning heavily against it.

"Merlin?" Gaius called through the door. "Merlin, do you want to talk to me?" He asked.

"Not yet, Gaius." _Maybe not ever_, Merlin thought.

"Okay. I'll be here whenever you're ready. I'll always be here when you need me." Gaius promised.

Merlin smiled to himself. "Thank you, Gaius." He listened to his shuffling footsteps as he walked away.

"Goodnight, Merlin."

"Goodnight." Merlin whispered before he stood and began packing.

-

Arthur watched the door close, the tingling burn Merlin left on his skin still obvious. "Mer…" Arthur let himself slump to the floor, breathing shakily as he began sobbing. He leaned forward and rested his head on the cold floor. "Merlin…" He whispered. "Come back." He begged, not raising his voice above a whimper.

It was disgraceful. He knew that if his father knew anything about it, he would be disgusted. He would shout, lecture, say how 'disappointed' he was that his son had not only fallen in love with a servant, but a man. And now he was knelt on the floor _crying_ over that man, _begging_ him to return.

He crawled across the floor to his bed where Merlin had lay. He pulled the covers up to his ace and inhaled deeply. He lay on the bed, keeping the sheets pulled up to his face, inhaling Merlin's scent, pretending that he was there with him.

He didn't know how long he lay there, silently praying that Merlin would think twice, would turn around and return, but he knew he wouldn't.

He heard a sound outside in the courtyard, but ignored it, trying to rid the world of everything but Merlin. But then he realised what the sound was.

Horse's hooves on cobbles.

Fearing the worst, he ran to the window and searched the courtyard below, and there was Merlin on a chestnut horse, trotting towards the gates.

"No." Arthur slammed his fists against the stones either side of the window. "No!" He shouted, he fumbled with the lock before throwing the window open.

Merlin turned at the sound, eyes wide.

"Merlin!" Arthur cried as the sorcerer cantered past the guards and away from Arthur.

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**A/N: Okay, there's kind of one ending, so stop reading now if you don't want Merlin and Arthur together.**


	4. Hopeful Ending

**A/N: This is another ending, it follows on from the previous chapter. Not a happy ending, but a hopeful one.

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Morgana woke with a jolt and sat upright, Arthur's cry echoing in her mind. Her heart was thundering, desperate to escape and seek out the men. Laying a hand on her chest, she decided she felt the same and threw back her covers. She almost tripped as she rushed from her bed to pick up a shawl.

"Merlin…Arthur." She thought out loud. "Arthur…Merlin." She hurried to the door. "Merlin." She decided.

She ran to the physician's quarters and burst through the door, waking the old man from his slumber. "What? What's going on?" Gaius shouted, tossing the sheets around himself and sitting up. "Lady Morgana?"

"Good night, Gaius, sorry to disturb you. Is Merlin in his room?" She said without stopping her fast pace. Merlin opened the door to his room and stepped out.

"Gaius? What's wrong-"

"Good night, Merlin." She pushed him back into his room, following him in and closing the door.

"Hmm, young love." Gaius said simply, lying back down to get some sleep.

"Morgana, what's wrong?" Merlin asked quickly.

"Merlin…Merlin, you're still here." She stepped forward and hugged the warlock tightly.

"Of course I am," Merlin reassured her, hugging her back. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Bad dream," Morgana whispered, "really bad dream."

"What happened?" The servant asked, releasing the lady. She said nothing, just stared. "Morgana?"

"…Has Arthur ever…tried anything?" She asked hesitantly.

"Tried anything? What do you mean?" Merlin asked, taking a step back.

"Has he ever tried to…force you into…" She said awkwardly.

"Force me? What do you…wait, you don't mean…" Morgana looked away. "No, Arthur wouldn't do that!" He insisted. "Is that what you dreamed?"

"I can change it!" Morgana said quickly. "Arthur just thinks…well, he doesn't think, he's Arthur. But just…just…" She stopped and looked straight at Merlin. "Do you love Arthur?"

Merlin flushed and looked at the floor, "that's not a question you should ask his _man_servant." He murmured.

"No, I shouldn't. But I do a lot of things I shouldn't do." Morgana answered, her pride returning. Merlin looked at her. "Do you?"

"Yes," Merlin said simply. "I love him."

Morgana smiled. "Goodnight, Merlin." With that, she left, walking at a leisurely pace to Arthur's chambers.

She knocked on the door and waited. And waited. Growing impatient, she knocked again. Finally, she was greeted by a very sleepy, very grumpy prince. "Morgana, what do you wa-" A hard slap cut him short. "What was that for?" He asked defensively, a hand on his reddening cheek.

"You're an idiot." Morgana said simply.

"What? Is that all you're here for, because if it is-"

"No." Morgana put a foot out to stop the door. "Please let me in, we need to talk." Arthur sighed and opened the door wider.

"You'll want to sit down." Morgana said when they were both stood by the table.

"Alright." Arthur rolled his eyes and sat. It was then that he realised that Morgana had bare feet. "Morgana! You should be wearing shoes! You could hurt your foot or catch a cold or-"

"Arthur! Listen to me." Morgana warned. Arthur sat in silence while Morgana collected her thoughts.

"Are you going to be saying something any time soon?" Arthur asked, eyes closed.

"Yes." He opened his eyes and looked at his sister. "Arthur, everything I tell you, you can do whatever you like with this information, tell anyone, keep it a secret. It's in your hands." The prince nodded. "You must understand the reason I didn't say anything. I was scared." She rambled.

"Scared of what? What happened Morgana?" He asked, standing and walking to her. "Morgana?" He laid a hand on her cheek when she wouldn't look at him.

"I'm a seer, Arthur." Morgana said simply. Arthur took his hand away and took a step back.

"You're…you're joking, right?" He asked unsurely.

"No, but please listen, that's not what I came to tell you."

"Morgana, if my father ever knew about this, you'd be dead before sunset!" Arthur hissed.

"I know." Morgana said simply. "I trust you, Arthur. You seem to make good decisions, you'll decide the best. But right now I still need to tell you something." Arthur sat down again.

"About what?" He asked, eyes shut tightly.

"Merlin," Arthur looked up at the mention of his servant.

"What about him?" Arthur asked, suspicious of what Morgana knew.

"Arthur," Morgana began, resting on the table beside Arthur's chair, "I can see the future, so I could change it, right?" Arthur nodded. "Okay, I had this dream…"

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**A/N: Told you.**


	5. Happy Ending

**A/N: This is the happy ending of the story, ignore the last two chapters if you read this.

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It was a usual occurrence for Merlin now. Prepare himself, dress, go to Arthur's chambers, lock the door, pull down his breeches, occasionally suck, be fucked, get dressed, leave. Life would carry on.

But this time, Arthur didn't give him time to undress, as soon as Merlin locked the door, he had been pinned to it and Arthur had kissed him harshly. Merlin gasped and threw his hands against the door to steady himself.

All Arthur said when he pulled back was, "bed." Merlin obediently slipped out of Arthur grasp and scuttled towards the bed, but just before he reached it, Arthur grabbed him again and pulled him into another kiss, running his hands through Merlin's hair, gripping his neck, pulling him closer. And just as Merlin was wrapping his arms around Arthur, he was pushed back onto the bed.

Nothing was said for a while, Arthur was panting heavily, glaring down at Merlin with a murderous look. Merlin was truly afraid.

"What have you done?" Arthur said through gritted teeth. Merlin tried to say something, he moved his lips, but no sound came out. "What have you done to me?" Arthur shouted. "Tell me! Because the things I feel, it's not me! It's like you're controlling me, like you have some power over me, and it makes me want to _hit_ you, _hurt_ you, _break _you, _scream_ at you!"

"No!" Merlin shouted turning his head and raising his arm in defence as Arthur leant over him suddenly, knees just on the bed and a hand by Merlin's head to hold himself up.

"The things you make me feel…" he reached up and pulled Merlin's shaking arm down slowly so he could look at him. "You…Something about you, I don't know what it is, but it makes me want to protect you and hold you when you're sad. I want to fall asleep talking to you and wake up with you in my arms, watch you sleep and dream. I want to give you everything, this kingdom, the stars, my soul. I want to be you're everything.

"I want to hide you away from the world so nobody else could ever look at you, I want to parade you around and show you to the world. I want to kiss you, and hug you, live for you, die for you. Merlin, "his voice softened, barely audible," I think I love you," tears started forming in Arthur's eyes as he spoke. "And it hurts. My God, it hurts, Merlin."

"Don't you talk to me about hurt!" Merlin shouted, pushed Arthur off him and sat up. "You…you raped me, again and again, why would you do that if you love me? How could you do that to me?" He asked, tears streaming.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Arthur stroked Merlin's cheek gently and kissed his forehead. "I was trying to convince myself that it didn't matter, _you_ didn't matter, that I didn't…it was just lust, nothing more, but I was wrong. And you, the way you looked at me, I knew…I didn't…you couldn't look at me like that, look at me with disgust, hatred, anger anything…but not love. Because we can never…Not you and me, and that look…when you looked at me, and thought I didn't notice, I wanted to grab you and kiss you forever. I'm sorry, Merlin, so sorry…I did everything wro-"

Merlin cut him off with a kiss, harsh and fiery, hands on the sides of his face, keeping them locked together.

Arthur lowered them so they were lay, Arthur pressed tightly to Merlin, legs intertwining, across Arthur's bed. "You prat." Merlin said, Arthur's forehead on his. "You complete prat. How could you do that to me?" He kissed Arthur as tear rolled down his face.

Arthur lifted himself up again above Merlin, who allowed himself to be picked up bridal style, still kissing Arthur, and placed the right way round on the bed, his head on Arthur's freshly fluffed pillows. Arthur climbed back onto Merlin, straddling him, and pulled off his shirt then leaned down to pull off Merlin's clothes, kissing him whenever he could. Arthur pulled off Merlin's boots and breeches then moved to remove his own. He stopped to catch his breath, kneeling between Merlin's legs and drinking in the sight of the pale man.

Merlin was feeling quite uncomfortable as he had never been naked in the Prince's presence before, and tried to cover himself up only to have his wrists caught by Arthur. "No, no…let me see you." He let Merlin's wrists go and leant forward to kiss across Merlin's chest, leaving one long kiss over his racing heart.

He leaned forward and kissed Merlin again, pulling his leg up beside him to stroke his thigh. "Arthur," Merlin breathed.

"Merlin," Arthur returned.

"Gwen." Merlin said. Arthur pulled back and gave him a confused look, hand still on Merlin's milky thigh.

"Gwen?" He asked.

"Yes, what is she to you now? You said you loved me-"

"I do love you." Arthur insisted, leaning down and catching Merlin's chin with a finger and thumb.

"Yes, but what about Gwen? You loved her last week, called her name, what was that?"

"I don't know." Arthur nipped at Merlin collar bone. "Lust? Denial?" He asked as he kissed his way up Merlin's neck.

"And me? Will you be saying that _I_ was just lust as well?" Arthur knelt up completely and Merlin propped himself up on his elbows.

"Merlin, I…do you really think that I would-"

"No! Well, yes…maybe. It's just that, to you, I was just a quick fuck-"

"Merlin, don't say-"

"It's true! I was a servant, a quick fuck, barely even a friend, and you were head over heels for Gwen." Merlin explained.

"Merlin, listen to me." Arthur said, leaning over Merlin again. "What I felt, or even thought I felt for Guinevere, was nothing compared to what I feel for you. I promise you that." Merlin said nothing, just stared at him, looking for something, what, Arthur was not sure of.

Finally, he pulled Arthur down to kiss him again, running his hands through Arthur's hair.

They kissed, and embraced, and loved, and then Arthur was inside Merlin again, but this time was different, this wasn't fucking, this was Arthur making love to Merlin, something new to both of them. It was gentle and slow and loving, nothing was rushed, nothing would ever be rushed, they still had some problems to work out, the main one involving Merlin's magic, but it didn't matter, because right here and now, with tender kisses and strong embraces, they had all the time in the world.

It would be an endless love.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, so...there you go.**


End file.
